How to Clean the Table

Ok, here we go. I'm not the same person that I was six months ago, when I started writing this blog. That is propably obvious to everybody, who's been around me lately. The fall of 2008 was amazing, without a doubt the best time of my life. Loads of things changed in the way that I see the world, and I've never been happier. I finally had the feeling, that I'm walking the right path, I'm growing up without becoming an adult (loosing the ability of being amazed of the little things).

I was happy (I am happy) when I realized that only person responsible for my happiness is me. It's too easy to have those bad days, and blame everything else for the misery. Somebody's being rude or you overslept. On the other hand, falling in love in a dependent way is not the way to go either. When in love, you should always be able to stand on your own feet too.

So it came out of the blue when this happened to me. I wasn't in love, there was no relationship but I was fast going that way, in my mind propably. I had the feeling, and just let go. I was still standing on my own, but now that I think of it, not for long.

My heart whispered that I'm not ready. I wouldn't have listened.

Then a lot of things happened very fast (it couldn't have been by accident, there's no such thing) and I realized that I better get out, no matter how hard it is. There was no drama, so don't worry, I was only further in my mind than I should have been. I feel that I'm at the point of a breakthrough, becoming stronger than I've ever been.

There's no better day, than January 1st, for these things to happen. I cleaned the table, and this year is new and fresh. My New Year's resolution is that I'm going to treat other people well, and if I meet rude arrogants, I won't let them affect my peace of mind.

I highly recommend The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.