Freedom of a Wandering Heart

Haha, my titles are getting more and more flamboyant, but please don't let it bother. I feel I have something to say, and I try to keep my enthusiasm within certain limits.

One of my biggest beliefs at the moment is, that one can learn something from each person that comes across. It could be something very concrete, like learning how to tie a Sailor's knot, or something completely different, like a feeling you get after talking to someone wise. It is also possible to reach an understanding of a fact that you will never become bitter or ignoratnt, if you meet a person who is those things. But as I said, something can be learned almost from everybody.

So how does this sound: what would happen if person, who is eager to learn tries just that. To learn something, consciously, from people she meets? What if she (or he), for example when traveling, first meets a bartender, and just ask "i'm here to learn, i hope there's something you would like to teach me?". Maybe she learns something from a bartender, like how to draught a beer. Then she could ask him if he knows someone, who knows something really worth learning. And the chain could go on and on and on... This is a very charming idea. It is in free usage, so go for if, if you desire. I know i will.

Today I realized that I am free. I can't describe the feeling I got. In nine months' time this working contract will due, and as greatful as I am about the opportunity that I got 18months ago, I know it is time to move on. I don't feel any anxioty about the fact that I have no idea what I'm going to do next fall. I just feel happiness of the freedom to choose. I know, that if I just listen, at some point I'm going to know what I'm ought to do.

Act.

The light is wonderful outside. I kept thinking that it would be amazing if it still was there after I finished working today. Then a thought came: why not go out and see the light now, even if it was for one minute. I did.

People should listen to their dreams, no matter how small.

How to Clean the Table

Ok, here we go. I'm not the same person that I was six months ago, when I started writing this blog. That is propably obvious to everybody, who's been around me lately. The fall of 2008 was amazing, without a doubt the best time of my life. Loads of things changed in the way that I see the world, and I've never been happier. I finally had the feeling, that I'm walking the right path, I'm growing up without becoming an adult (loosing the ability of being amazed of the little things).

I was happy (I am happy) when I realized that only person responsible for my happiness is me. It's too easy to have those bad days, and blame everything else for the misery. Somebody's being rude or you overslept. On the other hand, falling in love in a dependent way is not the way to go either. When in love, you should always be able to stand on your own feet too.

So it came out of the blue when this happened to me. I wasn't in love, there was no relationship but I was fast going that way, in my mind propably. I had the feeling, and just let go. I was still standing on my own, but now that I think of it, not for long.

My heart whispered that I'm not ready. I wouldn't have listened.

Then a lot of things happened very fast (it couldn't have been by accident, there's no such thing) and I realized that I better get out, no matter how hard it is. There was no drama, so don't worry, I was only further in my mind than I should have been. I feel that I'm at the point of a breakthrough, becoming stronger than I've ever been.

There's no better day, than January 1st, for these things to happen. I cleaned the table, and this year is new and fresh. My New Year's resolution is that I'm going to treat other people well, and if I meet rude arrogants, I won't let them affect my peace of mind.

I highly recommend The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.